Norwegian-American entrepreneur Kenneth Hellem at Seed Nordic shares his top tips on the most crucial skill in business and in life: relationship-building.

“In every room there are crocodiles – the ones who talk – and elephants – the ones with big ears who listen. So try and be the elephant. Listen actively and then do something about what people say. Try to help the people you meet.”

Hi Kenneth. What do you do and why?
I’m an ex-managment consultant who likes to build companies. At Seed Nordic, we help early stage startup companies in any field, mostly in tech, product and services. We invest 100 000 kr in the startup and then we provide hands-on coaching, both through daily acceleration meetings and more customised educational sessions.

Why this path?
Three years ago I did a consulting engagement for a startup in Sweden. I realised I love startups. I never had so much fun. I was creating things. I woke up in the morning with a million ideas and I implemented them every single day.

What is your professional background?
I worked with strategy and advisory for large corporations like General Electric, Accenture and some smaller consulting fields in Sweden and in the US. I coached management teams and helped them solve problems and build better organisations. And what I was doing then with large corporations I’m taking with me now to do with small companies. It’s the same skillset.

Do you feel American or Norwegian or both?
I was raised with American values, with the belief that I can do whatever I set my mind to. I was always pushed to travel and explore. I was in the US every second summer when I grew up. Recently, I lived one year in San Francisco and one year in NYC.

So why is networking, community and relationship-building important?
Actually, at first I didn’t believe in networking at all. I thought it was what sleasy car salesmen are doing. Then in my second job as a management consultant, I was expected to sell consulting work and I didn’t have anyone to sell to. It was an impossible task for me.

My boss challenged me and said: every week you have to have lunch with someone you wouldn’t normally had lunch with. I don’t want you to sell, don’t push. I want you to figure out whats important in this person’s life, what keeps them up at night. After the meeting figure out how you could help. Give, give, give and don’t expect anything back.

That was life-changing for me. Don’t sell. Don’t ask for anything. Give.

So I did. And the results were amazing. Instead of selling, I was building real relationships and I was helping people with what was important to them in their lives. People would start calling whenever they had a problem. They even called to buy consulting services.

What I learnt is that what you give comes back to you ten fold. Focus on building lasting relationships, and develop trust.

You never said you were looking for work?
When I left the US to come back to Sweden, I wanted to switch career-paths from consulting to entrepreneurship. But instead of looking for work I set out to look for inspiration. I made a list of 50 people I wanted to meet and I set up a list of what I called “50 lunches”: Friends, colleagues, customers, anyone who inspired me. Most of the people I had already met. And the ones I hadn’t knew of me in one way or another.

I asked them things like: What did you do when you switched from consulting to a line role? Started your first startup? Went back to school? The answers were astonishing. So much inspiration.

Then I mentioned that I was a great consultant, but wanted to make the move into entrepreneurship, and asked the questions: what should I do? Who should I talk to? What do I need to learn? I was introduced right and left. To so many exciting new people. It led me to the company Serendipity, which led me to where I am today.

Sounds great. And you are still keeping up with lots of lunches with new people?
Now I probably have seven lunches or breakfasts per week, and never say no to a meeting. I actively encourage this as relationship-building is important to me.

Read more about Kenneth’s Startup accelerator here.
Do you want to learn more on how to network actively? At Impact Hub Stockholm you have a fantastic opportunity to build relationships organically every day in our co-working space. Check out our members here and find out more about memberships options.

Author

Andrea Hessmo is a Web Editor and Translator who is passionate about journalism and creative entrepreneurship.